Innocence and Instinct
by Bai Lan
Summary: They were demons against the Black Order. From time immemorial there were exorcists, fighting that evil. They followed a legend; a prophecy, saying there would be one, who will come to stop the time."


Bai Lan

Innocence and Instinct

_It has been 7000 years since the two great powers appeared on Earth and collided, trying to rule over the world. They were simply good and bad; black and white; sinfulness and innocence. They were demons against the Black Order. From time immemorial there were exorcists, fighting that evil. They followed a legend; a prophecy, saying there would be one, who will come to stop the time, and turn them all to ashes, until everything begins again._

_There's no time for us  
There's no place for us_

'_Exorcists. The Dark Order. Innocence. Demons. The Noah clan. Millennium Earl. All comes to an end now.'  
'Allen?'  
'Mana?'  
'Allen, remember…'  
'Ah, yes, my father. The man I turned into a demon; the man I killed. The man, who cursed me and drove me to the edge, giving me these confusing thoughts. One hand is for humans; the other for demons. But where do I stand? It's like I don't have a place here. It's like I don't have time here. Mana…'_

_***_

The war had taken all – people's lives, their hope and their strength. Demons had ruined countries, cities, houses, families; humans. All exorcists tried to follow their path, bringing justice, fighting for the light; yet their power was weaker.

Allen observed the ruins that were once the world, desperate; he couldn't do anything in the end. For how could one man, no, a child, be able to save the world? He was all alone.

"Allen, don't look." Kanda whispered from the depths of the cave they were in. He was tired of looking at the boy, who starred for hours, trying to save something that wasn't even there. "Otherwise you won't find peace."  
"What about our friends that are fighting somewhere? We can't stand here and do nothing. What about humans? What about the world?" The boy turned to the dark exorcist, hiding in the abyss. Allen couldn't outline his features, but sensed his presence. It was powerful. The man was angry, strong, but lonely; sad. Weren't they too similar? They both had a reason to fight, although Kanda's was lying deep within his heart. Still, they were both marked, cursed to live and see the Great War between two worlds.

Kanda noticed Allen's desperation. It was written in the grey eyes filled with pain. The mark of his demon almost glowed with red light. Strange, that made the boy's visage paler, younger.

"Don't forget they are looking for us Allen. Eventually, the demons will sense our presence and we will have to move again. It would be better if they do that later, so don't help those bastards. You could be seen from kilometres away with that white hair of yours. You look like a fucking beacon." Allen shivered from Kanda's sharp words, but the man was right.  
He covered himself, hiding under his black uniform with the silver symbol, engraved on his chest. Back then that coat meant something to Mana, to his master and to himself. Right now it was a target.

What Kanda said about demons finding them was true. And right now they couldn't move as freely. The exorcist sitting behind him was wounded. He was recovering fast, but he wasn't ready yet. Allen himself had no strength. He was tortured by the pain in his heart, his ugly thoughts and the voice in his mind. All that had turned into a nightmare, eating him alive.

"Allen, come inside." They had improved their relationship. Now Kanda accepted him, entrusting his body completely and maybe his heart. He relied on Allen, believing the boy was the one from the prophecy; the one who would stop time.  
"Ah." Allen nodded and came inside the cave. Still, the picture of what was outside, ruined and lost, couldn't escape his mind.

The dark hole was cold, almost freezing. Both men wouldn't risk their lives by lighting a fire.

"Tomorrow we can start travelling east again." Kanda said with his quiet deep voice. He sounded calm, indifferent, cold, like the cold that embraced their exhausted bodies.  
"Yeah." Allen agreed, staring at the other's opened coat and ripped shirt. It looked dirty, had lost its pure white colour long ago. Tight bandages soaked with burgundy red blood was wrapped around the man's bare chest.  
"We have to cross the mountains and now is not a good time. It is winter already and there will be heavy storms."  
"I will manage." And Allen looked straight into the eyes of his dark partner. "I am not that fragile anymore." But Allen squeezed his shoulder, remembering how his arm was ripped and destroyed, shattered into million pieces. He didn't want to feel that pain again. Never.  
"I know." Kanda closed his eyes, because the pain in the other's gaze was disheartening. "I am not sure if both can manage. Nature is severe and doesn't care about the war between demons and humans. Once it wiped away the life from earth." And Allen remembered Noah and how his clan caused even more deaths than demons.  
"We will." But he wasn't sure in his own words. It reflected in his voice that trembled slightly. "Does it hurt?" Suddenly the white haired boy stretched his gloved hand as if to touch Kanda's wound, but his fingers stopped before the soft fabric of the bandages.  
"No, not anymore. The pain is in people's minds Allen. I forgot what pain is long ago. Don't worry, this wound will disappear soon. There won't be any scar."  
"Mhm…" But Allen knew there would be, even if it wasn't visible.

The boy clenched his fingers in a fist and pulled back his arm; otherwise Kanda would notice he was shaking.

"Are you cold?" Kanda whispered.  
"Yeah." Asked boy nodded.  
"Come here." Slowly the boy came closer to the dark exorcist. He was still afraid of the man with shrewd black eyes. Both stared at each other for what it seemed like eternity, when in reality it was for a moment. Allen was sinking deep into dark cold gaze, feeling his strength being drained from his body, yet he couldn't do anything. He had no time.  
Then Kanda leaned down and sealed Allen's lips with his. The boy's eyes stayed open. The exorcist could read many things there, yet there wasn't any spirit left; no, as if Allen was lost. And then all that disappeared behind pale lids and thick eyelashes.

As always Allen was surprised by the passion Kanda put into one kiss, when in reality he believed the exorcist was a cold man.

Their surroundings disappeared; the war didn't exist, nor the pain or sadness. They were two men carried on a wave of nothing; blackness, stillness.

Kanda broke contact, allowing Allen to catch his breath and then leaned in again. His fingers moved to touch the boy's face, his soft skin feeling like satin. His hands sunk into Allen's white hair. The man was trying to warm the boy. He was demanding, stealing away Allen's last energy.

Their tongues swirled in a storm of feelings, a battle between powers. They danced slowly, caressing each other softly, and then exploded in a wild race of passionate movements.

Allen was looking for support, his hands desperate to touch the other's skin. He found the fabric of the exorcist's coat. It was dusty and wet. Slowly, Allen slid his gloved hands underneath and drew it down the other's shoulders, letting the symbol of their strength fall with a thud. It reached Kanda's elbows and stopped there for the man was too busy undressing Allen.  
When his coat opened, the boy shivered more from anticipation than the cold. Touching wasn't enough, he wanted more. Kanda complied and removed Allen's shirt. His skin was pale and soft. Small scars overshadowed its perfection, but it was still beautiful. Kanda drank from its sweetness when his lips descended lower, finding the crook between Allen's collarbones. The boy gasped quietly, grasping onto the other's shoulders, leaving red marks behind.  
Kanda traced the line to the boy's left shoulder and gently kissed the place where his skin turned dark; Allen's _innocence_. It was his power and regret; for it killed the man he loved the most. _Mana_.

Kanda continued kissing the boy's narrow chest, going down, lower to his navel. He flicked his tongue against it, tasting it. His hands held Allen's waist tightly, so when the boy arched his back, offering more of himself, Kanda supported his weight so he wouldn't fall.

Allen found Kanda's hair and loosened it. It fell soft like a dark waterfall over the exorcist's shoulders. The man sighed irritated, but on Allen's lips played a small smile. He liked Kanda's hair this way. Now he didn't look so fierce.

Soon both men lowered their bodies to the ground. Allen's back pressed against the rough surface, but it felt softer than any bed.  
Kanda removed the boy's pants, his breath caressing the other's need. Allen moaned softly, his voice echoing in the depths of the cave. It sounded like a sweet melody of lust. When the dark exorcist kissed his way up to Allen's thigh, the boy writhed, ready to scream.

"Oh, God!" And that was when he thought he was forsaken by God; yet he pleaded for mercy. "I can't." It was the last time Allen looked at Kanda's face. Triumph was written in those glistening dark eyes. Then Kanda buried himself in Allen's hotness.

The boy twisted, feeling the other's tongue warm against his hardness. It drove him insane. Millions of convulsive waves ran through his body, concentrating on the tip of his sensitive flesh. When he was about to scream for freedom, Kanda teased him, playing with him. It was a dangerous game of lust. Both men were extremely hot. Kanda himself was on the edge. He wanted to be deep inside of Allen, touching the boy's heart.

When he couldn't take it anymore, the dark exorcist whispered his lover's name. The sound was deep, caressing the boy's ears. He smiled right before the sharp pain went through his body like a spear. His scream was Kanda's answer. He was rough and he knew it, but both needed to feel alive.

Instead of trying to escape from the pain and the other's powerful thrusts, Allen spread his legs, driving his lover deeper inside of him. His long limbs locked behind Kanda's back, allowing the man's strength to ravish his body completely.

"Hold onto me." Kanda whispered once more, before stealing away Allen's breath. The boy complied and wrapped his shaking hands against the exorcist's neck, pulling him closer. The kiss became strong, passionate.

The two male bodies moved faster. Each other was close to the end; and when all turned into blackness and quieted down, Kanda claimed Allen once again. His desire stained the boy's insides.

"You are mine." Those words echoed in Allen's mind before he drifted away after spending himself between their sweaty bodies. Slowly he gave away into sleep. One single tear rolled down his face. It was a mere moment, when he was able to forget about what was happening, to feel there was a place for him; however, now he had no time anymore. No place. Both were doomed to failure for they were fighting on the weaker side. _Maybe_.  
Soon all would come to an end before it starts again, gaining new powers.

'_Good night Allen._'  
'_Mana, why?_'

_***_

_What is this thing that builds our dreams  
Yet slips away from us_

_Innocence. God's power. God's will. God's curse._

_***_

"Allen. Allen. Wake up." Kanda was already on his feet, fully dressed and serious. He was frowning as always. His hair was perfectly tied up, and the katana hung to his waist. True samurai. Sometimes Allen felt as if Kanda had lived longer than his eighteen years. It was almost like somebody had pulled him out of some other time and dropped him in the middle of this war.  
"Mhm…" Allen, on the other hand, was entangled and curled in a pile of clothes; his own. It was Kanda's pleasure to observe how the young boy awakened, stretching his long pale limbs and slowly opening his grey eyes. His hair was a mess.  
"Come on. We have to go." Kanda approached the entrance of the cave. Outside it was snowing already. "It's snowing. The snow has covered everything during the night. Strange I haven't felt the cold." Rustling sounds came behind him. "The ruins are gone, lost under the pure white snow."  
"But we know they are still there." Allen's hoarse voice was quiet.  
"Yeah." The dark exorcist observed that ghostly world. There were no demons now, as if everyone was already dead. What if the world was dead?

When Kanda turned his back to the entrance, Allen was standing right there, embraced by darkness. His serious face didn't suit his age. It seemed like his burden was too heavy to be carried on his small shoulders, yet he continued forward.

"Let's go." The boy smiled, buttoning up his uniform. The green light of his Innocence glowed and the white shield of his Crowned Clown appeared, covering him, protecting him from the cold.  
"You look ridiculous in that get up. As always." Kanda smirked.  
"Shut up." But Allen knew this was Kanda's way.  
"_You do._"  
"_Right._" What they wanted to say was left unspoken, reflecting in their eyes.

_***_

It was as Kanda said. Nature could be crueller than any demon that existed and they had fought as exorcists. Who knew what kind of power kept them on their feet.  
Strong winds tossed them, stealing away their breath and sight. Allen was tired. His whole body was in pain, and he was freezing. What if he sat down to rest for a little while? Kanda could use some as well. He was wounded after all. Just for a few minutes; he could close his eyes and press against the other's warm body.

As he was thinking about hot fire and warm meal, Allen tripped, falling face down, in the snow.

"Hey Allen, now it is not the time for sleeping."  
"I tripped." The boy's anger was his best strength supporter. The fire in his eyes made Kanda smile.  
"Let me help you." The older exorcist pulled his partner up, looked him over from tip to toe, and started laughing.  
"What? You jerk. Why are you laughing?"  
"Look at you." And Kanda straightened Allen's coat and smoothen his hair.  
"How can you laugh when it's so freaking cold? Can't we just rest for a while? Who said we have to reach China today?"  
"Allen you are whining. It is annoying."  
"So? You are and ass and that's irritating, but did you hear me complain about that?" The white haired boy was tired. Kanda considered their situation. They had no time. The order was to gather at the Asian branch as soon as possible. It seemed like they had found some kind of anomaly. It could be Innocence or new demons' outburst. If they decided to rest for one more night and find a cave here in the mountains, they were going to be late. He was also using his last strength, but tried really hard not to fall.  
Who knew what was behind them for they were being followed since they left the cave. No matter who it was, he was expecting them to decide to stop, and then using the fact that they were too weak to fight back, he was going to attack them. His killing aura was too powerful, filled with hatred; it disturbed Kanda.  
And if they decided to continue walking in this storm, he was going to wait until they fell down dead and powerless, and then devour them slowly.

Just when Kanda was ready to answer Allen, the boy's cursed eye activated. It glowed with bloody red light. Fear was Allen's first reaction, but then it was replaced by determination and anger.

"Kanda." But the exorcist was taking out his katana from its sheath. It produced a deadly, cold sound.  
"Mugen, activate!"  
"He's coming."  
"Don't interfere, Allen. You are too tired to use your Innocence. He is mine."

"Exorcists, I found you at last." The voice was deep, filled with mockery.  
"Are you the one who has been following us all this time?"  
"Yeah." The demon laughed. He looked like nothing they had seen before. One thing Allen knew though, he was _ugly_. Even his soul was soaked in darkness.

'_Oh, no…_' The boy whispered. He wanted to warn Kanda, but it was too late. The clash of metal against metal resounded in his ears.

Kanda felt it. This demon wasn't ordinary. He was already consumed by his hatred towards the exorcists.

"You are strong. It seems you have eaten quite a lot."  
"You are damn right, and you are going to be next. Then I am going to finish your little friend. Who knows, maybe he will let me have my way with him, and while I fuck him, I will drain every drop of his hot red blood." A demon who talks about pleasure was strange itself, his appearance was more disturbing. He looked just like a human, except he was taller, tougher; and he was white as a ghost. If it wasn't for the long black hair, blown by the strong winds, Kanda would consider him as part of the scenery. He was practically naked, except for the armour, covering his taut stomach and his thighs. It was some mixture of steel with red. His long teeth glistened when he smiled and licked them having a foretaste of the blood of his enemy. A pair of yellow eyes glowed in his face, almost hypnotizing the exorcist.

The body of the demon was one of a warrior with tough muscles, long limbs and hard skin.

'It would be hard to pierce him.' Although Kanda fought with one of the Noah clan, Skin Bolic, the one who represented God's wrath, this opponent was much stronger than the lightening bastard.

"Don't get me wrong. I am your opponent. You have to fight _me_, instead of thinking about unnecessary things." But the thought about Allen being forced down by that creature froze Kanda's mind.  
"You are nothing more than a cockroach exorcist, and I eat cockroaches for breakfast." Loud laughter exploded and rebounded off the walls of the high mountains surrounding them. "As for your white haired friend, he is interesting. I might let him live; just until he starts begging me to fuck him."  
"Bastard." Another mocking laughter. Every time that guy laughed, the winds around him were moving faster, turning into a whirlwind of white snow and ice.

Allen couldn't hear what Kanda and the demon were talking about. He was paralyzed. Was he really seeing that? A demon who managed to merge with his human form completely. He was black – outside and inside. He couldn't be saved. When the boy realized the truth, his heart slowed its beating. It hurt him. He was powerless.

Kanda couldn't stay and listen to the crap the demon was spouting.

"Second illusion, activate!" Blue light encircled Kanda, turning his Mugen into two perfect blades. "Two illusion Blades!" Allen thought the other's Innocence was truly beautiful, but he would never say that to Kanda.

The demon seemed to like his opponents weapon. Kanda's strength intoxicated the enemy. The exorcist didn't realize how his own anger was the demon's powerful strength, but soon he was going to be drained completely.

With the first blow sparks fluttered around between the two strong opponents. The demon used only the armour he had on his wrists to protect himself, however he didn't attack. So far, if he couldn't land one hit, Kanda would be able to tire him out and slice him in two, although the poor soul would disappear for eternity, not reaching the Heavens, or Hell.

Kanda stormed forward with rage, moving his Mugen gracefully. He shifted the attacks fast without leaving any openings. His enemy didn't have the opportunity to answer the exorcist's power. Maybe he wasn't as special as Allen thought; maybe he was _just_ a demon.  
And then his mind exploded. Millions of voices went through his mind. Memories that weren't his changed in front of his eyes. Who was that? Kanda? The demon? Sharp pain pierced through his left eye, ascending in his arm and went up through his shoulder to his heart.

"KANDA!" Allen screamed desperately, but it was already too late. It came too fast, turning the exorcist into a pile of nothing. His blood splashed on the snow.

It became quiet. Allen was almost able to hear his heart beat and how the demon breathed slowly, calm and satisfied. The air was still. It was like time had stopped.

"Weakling." The demon laughed at Kanda's lifeless body. The exorcist was lying in crimson snow, his dark hair scattered about his head. "Now boy, what should I do with you?" The demon moved closer to Allen. The boy couldn't move. His eyes were fixated on the yellow gaze in front of him. "Should I devour you slowly," the demon licked his lips and smiled, "or should I feast on your body, taking away your _innocence_?"  
"Innocence, activate!" Allen whispered with trembling voice. Nothing happened as if his left arm was frozen. "Innocence, activate!" The boy raised his voice. His legs made a few steps back away from the demon. He was terrified. Why wouldn't his Innocence listen to him?  
"It seems like you have lost your powers _innocent_ boy." The laugher echoed in Allen's ears. He tried to concentrate, while his body was shacking uncontrollably.  
"Please…"  
"Yeah, beg me." He was close. "You have beautiful eyes, boy. Especially this one." The demon's hand moved fast. It stopped right before Allen's left eye. Only now he saw sharp black needles, supposedly the demon's nails. "I think I like it too much."

What was that wave? Fire? It went right through his head and exploded somewhere behind him. Allen heard screams, but didn't realize it was him who was screaming. When he collapsed on the ground he had already lost his consciousness.

_***_

'_Innocence is God's will. It was created by God himself to realize dreams. Yet mine lost. In the end it failed, slipping away from my heart._'

_***_

_Who wants to live forever  
Who wants to live forever_

"Kanda, you are not meant to live a long life. Don't think just because you don't want to die you won't. That seal that binds you to your sword, drains the life out of you, and some day you won't be able to heal your wounds. You are not immortal Kanda." Komui said, while piercing Kanda with serious eyes.  
'_I won't die. Not here. I won't. Allen. ALLEN!_" Every heart beat was agonizing.

"Second illusion: Sublimate! From here on, katana, take my life force and give me power. Take from my life and rise! Taboo Three Illusions!" At this rate Kanda was going to lose more of his life energy. He had lost a lot of blood from only one blow. It was dripping through the clenched fingers, grasping his chest. It seemed like his wound reopened.

'_Damn it. I don't have enough strength to heal. I have only one chance._' It was painful; every breath ripped his lungs to shreds. His body moved slowly as if walking through cold thick syrup. His limbs were frozen and defied his desire to move them, making the blood circulate and warming him.

The demon had already forgotten about Kanda. The samurai had a strong resolve and powers no other exorcist possesses, however he was interested in the _innocent_ boy, lying in the snow. His left eye was crimson, bloody tears rolling down his pale skin. From the enormous pain he caused him, the boy had lost consciousness, but the demon was able to trap his mind and give him nightmares about what he was going to do with his intact body. Evil smile stretched his lips when he leaned to look closer at the fallen exorcist. He was going to enjoy it.

Kanda wanted to scream. His anger rose within his body. It was what made him swing his Mugen; it was what was able to cut the evil even through the hard steel.

'Komui-san, I know I have short life span, but who wants to live forever? I don't care about that. I am here now. I have power. It is what God gave me. If I lose my life, then my time has come. But not now, not here. _He_ relies on me.'

_***_

'_Who wants to live forever?' _Those words said with Kanda's calm voice resounded in Allen's mind.

_***_

_There's no chance for us  
It's all decided for us_

The winds were blowing, hitting and destroying everything that was in their way. Snow danced in the sky fiercely and piled up on the ground. It was almost dark. Thick mist like a deadly ghost, lingered above the pure white cover, embracing three lonely figures – one of the undead, one of the evil, and one of the _innocence_. Above all that, nature laughed, biting with icy teeth, destroying what life was left in the deserted mountains.

"Innocent boy, it is that pale skin that makes you so sweet." The demon whispered, flicking his tongue against Allen's cheek. Said boy shivered, locked between two worlds.

_***_

Exorcists were nothing more than tools; chess piece the Dark Order was using to destroy demons and the Millennium Earl. They were expendable for there were Innocence particles everywhere, scattered around the world. They could be found and given to new hosts, turned into weapons. New exorcists could be trained and turned into a great force that would protect humans from demons.

_***_

Allen was sitting in a dark room. He was hugging his knees. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks. What had he done? Mana was dead; but _he_ was the one who killed him. Mana cursed him; but _he_ was the one who turned him into a demon. _He_ dealt with the devil and then screamed Mana's name. It was that hand, the ugly part of his body that stole his father's life.

Allen was sitting in a dark room. He was staring at the abyss. In front of him the film of his life rolled fast. He saw how he had lost his friends, his power, his hope, his heart. He saw Kanda; their lust, and their passion, elevating their minds. He saw demons, hearing their screaming souls; feeling their strong hands and how they grasped at him, scratching his sensitive flesh, and dragging him down into their darkness.

Allen was an exorcist, a mere pawn. If he was to die here, no one would look for him. He was replaceable. There was no chance for him, nor Kanda or any other exorcist, losing his life to a demon. It was all decided when God created the Innocence.

Allen was sitting in a dark room; it was the box of his frightened mind. He was clenching his shoulder tightly. Without his Innocence he was powerless, a child trapped by his dark thoughts. He had no chance to escape that destiny. The demons had decided that long ago.

'_Help me!_'

_***_

_This world has only one sweet moment  
set aside for us_

Kanda was moving slowly, quietly. His heart was beating faster, every beat echoing in his ears and tightening his chest painfully as if somebody had drilled a hole there and frozen his heart. With his last strength given to him by the Innocence, glowing with blue neon light, the exorcist swung his katana. It sliced the air hissing ominously. It hit the metal of the enemy's armour and sunk deeper, cutting his flesh. Hot black blood stained the silver blade. It was a moment of sweet triumph for Kanda. When the demon turned back to look at him, yellow eyes filled with hatred, Kanda smiled victorious.

_***_

Darkness embraced him. It was like before. The symbol of his life, a beautiful flower, lost its petals slowly, killing his soul. He was dying, but this time he hadn't promised to come back.

'_Who wants to live forever, Allen? Why should I see the destruction of this world? If we allow demons to step on us then we are weaker; we don't deserve to be called exorcists. I don't want to see that Allen. I don't want that…_'

_***_

'Who wants to live forever, Allen?' The echo probed Allen's mind and his dark box of ugly nightmares. It disturbed him, irritating him. Why were Kanda's thoughts so loud? Why would he think this way? He was undead, practically immortal. He couldn't die.

_***_

_Who dares to love forever  
When love must die_

Allen couldn't sleep. The sounds coming from the training room were too loud and disturbed him. It seemed like Kanda was angry about something. Probably it was because of his last mission. The boy and the dark exorcist had to work together. It was needless to say that was a complete disaster.  
Both fought all the time, their bickering making people around them uneasy. A finder was injured by a flying object meant to shut up Allen's spouting. The exorcists were kicked out of the hotel they were staying at. It was in the middle of the night and outside it was pouring with rain. They had to walk for four days straight and Allen became extremely whiny because of his hunger. When they were ambushed by a couple of level two demons, the boy was also slightly injured by Kanda, who at that moment activated his katana, swinging to pierce the demons. Allen happened to be in his way, jumping fast, right after his left eye had activated. Both failed to find the Innocence particle they were looking for and had to go home to treat Allen and the finder's wounds.

Right now the boy was resting in his room, dull pain paralyzing his back. It was where Kanda had hit him. As for the dark exorcist, when they arrived at Headquarters, he just glanced at Allen with cold eyes. The boy looked exhausted.  
"_Che…_" Was Kanda's answer and he hid himself in his room.

It's been exactly one week since then. He was training every night, when it was likely for the others to sleep soundly. It's been one week since Allen lost his ability to sleep.

"Jesus, I can't take this anymore." The boy shouted and threw away his covers. His naked feet shuffled along the dark corridors of his home. When he reached the training room, he pressed down the cold handle without hesitation and entered inside.

It looked just like a dojo in the Asian style. The walls were painted in warm colours, decorated with red flowers. The room was spacious.

'Why are you here brat? Shouldn't you be resting or something? Kanda's voice was deep and even.  
"Look, it's not like I didn't try, but you are annoyingly loud. Did you know I could hear you even in my room?" Allen's throat dried. Kanda was half naked, his light skin glistening from sweat. A dark tattoo was painted on his chest, placed right over his heart. As always his hair was tied up. The tight black pants of his uniform fit perfectly to his slim hips. He was breathing heavily, clenching his katana. The blade shone with cold beauty under the dim light.

"I didn't hear anybody complaining." Kanda was confused. The boy looked tired with dark circles under his eyes. His skin was ghostly white and his light hair formed a mess on his head. He was barefoot, wearing only his PJs. Underneath tight bandages covered the wound he had inflicted on him.  
"I am now." Anger rose within those grey eyes.  
"Alright, alright, just leave me alone."  
"What's your problem?" Allen must've lost his mind, but he didn't intend to walk away this time.  
"I just want to train brat, so when next time I am stuck with you on a mission, I won't be forced to abandon it and drag you down to Headquarters because you got in my way."  
"WHAT? But you…" Ah, so it was about that stupid accident. Allen was at fault of course, but he was never going to admit it in front of Kanda. "You hated me from the beginning. It's not like I just now started to irritate you. You jerk, you tried to kill me when I first got here."  
"It is my duty to protect my home."  
"It's your duty to be an ass." Allen pouted.  
"Jesus, Allen, won't you leave me alone. Just shut up and go already."

'_Allen? He called me by my first name? Is he that pissed? What's wrong with him?_'

"No, I don't think it's going to work this way. We need to straightened things out. Our future missions depend on that."  
"But I just don't want to listen to you right now." Kanda murmured and with only a few big steps he came closer to Allen. The boy didn't even think it was wise to back away. That was Kanda after all, an ally; he was scary, but it wasn't like he was going to kill him. Right!?

"What?"  
"I told you to shut up. You are so annoying."  
"Kanda?"  
"Allen, shut up!" And to help him, the dark exorcist forced a kiss on the boy's lips. It wasn't unpleasant as he thought it would be. On the contrary, it was sweet.

Allen was shocked. He hadn't been so scared in his whole life. If it was a demon, attacking him with rage, he simply exorcised it, but this situation he was completely defenceless and didn't know what to do.

"I told you. Now I can't control myself. Blame yourself brat." Kanda said panting, and kissed the boy's soft lips once again. They were warm and moist against his. Strange, was Allen responding? He was eager.  
Kanda pushed the boy back till he was pressed against the wall.

"Ah. Stop! Kanda! Wait!"  
"What?"  
"My back, the wound…" Kanda looked at Allen confused. "It hurts."  
"Oh, I am sorry. Then…" he looked around. His blood was boiling. He was tensed, the lower parts of his body feeling tensed and hot. "Come here." He grabbed the boy by his hand and led him further into the training room. Both slid to the ground with Allen sitting on top.

They kissed again. Gently the dark exorcist removed Allen's shirt, tracing the soft fabric of his bandages. The boy shivered.

"Are you cold?" Kanda's voice dropped to a husky whisper that teased Allen.  
"No, I am just…" He looked down.  
"Nervous?" The other continued.  
"I suppose."  
"Yeah, me too." As if to confirm that, Kanda placed the boy's small hand against his chest, right above his tattoo. His heart was racing as if it wanted to escape Kanda's body. Allen's fingers traced every line of the black tattoo and sighed softly.  
"It's beautiful."  
"It is a curse." _Just like my left eye_, the white haired boy thought.  
"It doesn't matter, I like it."  
"Me too, I like this." And Kanda caressed Allen's forehead, softly touching his left eye and moving to warm his cheek. His skin was soft. For a long moment both stared at each other, then Allen stood up and removed his own pants, while Kanda undid his. Underneath they were both naked. They smirked.

Allen kneeled, supporting his weight on Kanda's shoulders. Something cold and hard pressed against his opening. The other pushed his finger inside, stretching the boy slowly, while his other hand caressed Allen's need. The young man was moaning softly. He felt tight and hot and his insides clenched around Kanda's fingers. The older man placed small kisses on the boy's naked flesh, exciting him even more. When he started moving his body up and down on the exorcist's fingers, begging to be released from his building passion, Kanda removed his fingers, receiving a disapproving sound in response. Gently he lowered the boy, pressing the tip of his own hard member against his opening. Allen's flesh loosened, complying with the exorcist's teasing thrusts.  
The white haired boy took every agonizing inch to the point he felt physical pain. He knitted his fingers into the dark waterfall of Kanda's hair, and unconsciously scattered it down to the other's shoulders. A loud irritated groan escaped the exorcist's lips, but he couldn't do anything to prevent the boy's desperate movement, for his hands were too busy pleasuring Allen.  
When Kanda was completely buried deep in the boy's heat, he started moving. He was rough, pushing his hard flesh inside violently, stretching it. Moans and gasps were his answer.

It was painful. Allen never thought he would feel such pleasurable pain. It tormented him. He wanted to scream, but was too afraid someone might come and find their two bodies locked in a lustful dance of slow enticing rhythm.  
Something built inside of him, rising into his mind, lingering on the edge of his body, then descending fast to the tip of his hard member. It was tightened by Kanda's skilful hand. His flesh jerked and when he thought he wouldn't be able to bite his lips on time, he spilled his pleasure in violent white spurts, screaming loudly.

Kanda slowed down his thrusts, Allen clenching his muscles tightly, trying to keep him inside. Hot waves of pleasure pierced his body and with last penetrating move, Kanda claimed Allen's innocence.

Both men rested on the hard floor, Allen lying on top. He was still naked, trembling from the excitement he felt a while ago. Kanda caressed his back, easing the pain in the boy's waist. It was their first moment of closeness; their silent love.

_***_

"Did you see that Inspector Link?" Malcolm Leverrier asked his acquaintance. They were hiding in the darkness, observing the two exorcists who gave into sin.  
"Sir." The man nodded quietly. He looked quite disturbed and ashamed by what he saw at the training room.  
"Take care of this problem inspector. The relationship between exorcists is strictly forbidden, and to see _that_ here; tsk, nobody dares to do _that_." Leverrier was pissed off. Those two boys caused him a lot of troubles and a headache.  
"But sir, how?"  
"Use _that_." The special auditor's eyes glistened in the darkness. "I didn't think we would use it on our own men, but since Allen Walker was found to be the Fourteenth successor and suspected as heretic, and this Kanda acts on his own, killing everything that stands in his way, I don't think we have a choice, do we?"  
"Yes sir." The young inspector nodded. _That_. It was powerful and uncontrollable. Were they going to kill Allen Walker and You Kanda? But then what?  
"And link, I don't want to hear a word about that dirty act we saw here. Understood? I want this to die here." And Leverrier disappeared in the shadows of Headquarters. Silence embraced the inspector.

Love? Eternity? It was hilarious. Not between two men; not between two exorcists. Now that love would be destroyed, even before it had begun.

_***_

_But touch my tears with your lips  
Touch my world with your fingertips_

Allen shifted slowly. He was tired. The room he was in was dark and freezing. He felt like he couldn't move his body.  
The last memory saddened him. He never thought he could be this close to somebody, let alone Kanda, but it felt like his heart was wounded, hurting him deeply. He wanted to feel that passion again.  
What if the war didn't exist, he could feel Kanda's warmth, claiming his insides?  
Silent tears rolled down the boy's face.

"_Allen, don't cry._"  
"Kanda?" Allen's husky whisper scratched his throat.  
"_Silly boy. What are you doing here?_"  
"I can't activate my Innocence. I think it's useless now."  
"_No, you have to activate it with your heart, Allen._" Kanda smiled softly. His body was transparent and his voice – echoing in Allen's mind. However, he was the only light for the desperate terrified boy.

The exorcist leaned down and kissed Allen's soft lips, tasting salt from his tears.  
"_See, you can still feel._" He touched the boy's chest above his heart, the silver symbol pressing against it. It was Allen's home. There were his friends; it was his world. "_I will wait for you. Just follow your heart Allen. Follow my voice. Never give up. Continue forward._" The voice of his lover changed, as his face did.  
"Mana?"  
"_Allen, remember…_"

_***_

_And we can have forever  
And we can have forever  
Forever is our today_

'_I have to continue forward. It's what Mana told me. I have to protect my friends, my home. I have to do it for myself, and for Kanda. Innocence, activate!_' Allen's arm glowed with neon green light. It was intense and vibrated within his body. While his eyes were still closed, his hair flew in the air, surrounded by small green particles. His Crown Clown activated. '_One hand is for humans. The other is for demons._' The boy slowly awoke from his nightmare. His eyes were serious, looking at the demon with grey eyes made of ice.

The ghostly creature was surprised and for a moment he looked shocked. When he was about to rip the exorcist in little pieces, the white haired brat activated his Innocence. However, this game could be fun too. He smiled like a pervert, who was going to enjoy his prey all the more if he put up some resistance. The demon started laughing loudly, encircled by wind full of snow and ice. He had already taken the other's energy, so he was ready to fight the boy; and he was going to kill him. What if he didn't fuck him first, this way it may actually be better. Humans were dirty weaklings after all.

"Demon, I am going to help you and exorcise your poor soul, so you can rest in peace." Allen yelled above the storm. He had regained his strength.  
"Exorcist, don't make me laugh. Did you see what happened to your friend; and he was stronger than you." Truly, Kanda was lying in his crimson blood, clenching his katana tightly. The blade was stained with black thick blood. When Allen looked at the demon, he saw an ugly wound, covering his right hand. His armour was gone.  
"He wounded you, right, so you are not so invincible anymore. You can be stopped. I just can't get one thing though."  
"What is it, exorcist."  
"Who sent you? You never once mentioned the Earl's name. You are not a real demon, are you?"  
"I never said that I was, boy. Don't compare me to those lowly life forms the Earl is creating." The creature was angry. He stormed with great speed, attacking Allen's still body. The first hit missed, but the second landed on the boy's fragile body. He screamed and fell in the snow. Millions of white spots danced in front of his eyes when his head exploded. It hurt.  
"Uh..." The boy got up slowly. He had to be more careful. Up until now the creature was playing with them, hiding its true power, but right now he was serious. He intended to kill Allen. "So what are you then?"  
"I am your upgrade." The demon roared with laugh.

'_What does he mean by that? Is he an exorcist? That's impossible._'

"Allen, be careful with him. He is not what you think he is." Kanda yelled from the distance. After he had cut their attacker, he lost consciousness. It looked like he didn't have enough energy to perform the forbidden illusion of his Mugen, yet he did it.  
"Exorcists, you are so persistent. That's annoying. I think I will kill you NOW!" The demon transformed, yellow light illuminating from his body. Before, his skin was ghostly but, but now it was with the colour of ash.

What was he? He wasn't a real demon. Definitely. He had his own thoughts, feelings and perverted mind. For a moment he even reminded him of the Noah. Allen remembered Tikky Mikk. This creature was exactly like God's pleasure. However, he wasn't one of the Noah. He never once said he hated God or the Innocence.

"_Innocence_, activate." The demon yelled. Both exorcists looked with wide open eyes at what seemed to be exorcist, yet more powerful, filled with animal rage.

'_Upgrade?_'

_***_

'_It is not like exorcists are invincible. They have their own flaws as demons have. Innocence is like a living being. Part of it lives within the human form, evolving and the other part gives exorcists more strength. However, it drains the life energy out of its host. It may drive him completely insane; even kill him. We don't know what Innocence can do for it is God's power, not ours. We have to create a creature that is more powerful than demons, but it is a demon himself. That is conscious as Noah, but not to be one, who hates the Innocence. Finally, it has to be an exorcist, but it shouldn't follow the same path as one. In other words, we have to create a weapon that can protect us from evil, and from our own berserk men. It should never oppose us and follow our orders. It should fight that what is eating the world, and if that evil happens to be an exorcist, it should kill..."_

_***_

_It doesn't matter_, Allen thought. This creature was a mystery; however it had to be stopped. Otherwise...

"Crown Clown." The white haired boy yelled and attacked the demon. It was smiling. It knew the exorcist was coming and it was ready; expecting. His stance was one of defence. When Allen landed his first hit, it connected. The other's skin was hard, almost like steel.

'_Allen, follow your heart._'  
'_Mana, now I know what you mean._'

His sword appeared gracefully. It was almost as big as Allen, yet it was never heavy; however, today it was even lighter. The boy smiled.  
Using his defences, Allen reached Kanda. The demon was laughing in the distance, his Innocence was yet to be seen, but it didn't matter.

"Kanda, can you stand?"  
"The day when I won't be able to stand hasn't come yet boy." The dark exorcist smiled. He was in pain and looked tired, but his spirit was intact.  
"Good." Allen nodded. "I don't know what he is, but it seems like he feeds on our energy. When we are angry or attacking, we emit more of it, and he drains us."  
"In other words, we have to stay calm."  
"Kanda, I think he is one of us." Allen's look was dark. He was disturbed.  
"That is impossible. He is a demon."  
"But he looks exactly like a human, and the way he speaks..."  
"Allen..."  
"He is an Innocence host."  
"He _is_ a demon." But Kanda's thoughts led him to Allen's conclusion. Somebody had created this evil. It was somebody from the Order, and the exorcist was sure of it. Why send him after them though? Why they were considered a threat? "The only way to win over him is to combine our strength. Don't forget he has a part of each of us, however, it doesn't have the one thing that makes us stronger." And Kanda stole an icy kiss from Allen.  
"_And we can have forever._" The boy whispered.  
"What was that?" Kanda smiled.  
"Nothing."

'_Mana, if we defeat that evil, I am sure more will come for this is the world we live in. I am sure you meant that when you told me to continue forward. I won't look back anymore. I want to fight until I fall dead in the hands of the one I love. I want that forever to come._'

'_And we can have forever, huh? That boy is completely insane, but he is my answer._' Kanda thought, while standing up straight and facing the demon.

"Mugen, activate!"

'_Forever is our today, for we will start today to fight until forever._'

_***_

_Who wants to live forever  
Who wants to live forever_

"Exorcists, your will of life is strong, I give you that; but I _hate_ you for that reason." And the creature laughed for one last time.

'_Who wants to live forever, Allen?_' Both exorcists looked at each other and smiled. Their Innocence combined as one. It formed a spirit of green and blue light. It was beautiful and strong. With graceful movements that looked like a divine dance, it encircled the demon and embraced it. Right before killing the demon, the spirit placed a soft kiss on the creature's lips. It smiled, slowly returning to its calm form of ghostly white. Glowing tear rolled down his face.

'_Yeah, who wants to live forever exorcists?_' And he stretched his arms, accepting God's will.

"May you rest in peace." Allen whispered.

_***_

_Forever is our today_

"It begins today Allen." Kanda embraced his lover tenderly, snow falling quietly from the sky. Both didn't feel the cold anymore. "Our forever."

_Who waits forever anyway_

"Why wait?" Allen smiled devilishly and offered his soft lips. The exorcist claimed them, tasting the boy's sweetness.  
"Who waits forever anyway?" And Kanda lifted his lover. All was calm now. For the first time peace seemed possible.

9


End file.
